Monday, October 22, 2018
What is faith?
We found out a few weeks ago, from the Philippines, that our request to be matched with our girl, was denied. Again. To say our world has been shattered would be an understatement. Our hearts hurt in a way that we haven’t felt before. I have had to try and answer questions from our children that I don’t have the answers to. We have had to bravely say that this is what seems to be the best for our girl right now even if we can’t believe it or see it ourselves. I have had to hold our little girl tightly while she is crying and asking “why won’t they let us bring our sister home”. We have seen some hard-sad-days recently. I still cannot talk about it out loud without getting teary. It’s hard. Life is hard. Adoption is good, why isn’t the Lord letting us adopt our girl? Why isn’t this good thing working out how WE want it too?
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord…
If you have any sort of knowledge of the bible, when you read my question “what is faith”, Hebrews 11:1 may have gone through your head (Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.) The dictionary says that it is a belief or trust in something or someone. I have been thinking a lot about faith and what it means to me lately. And faith to me is believing without a shadow of a doubt that God’s plan is sovereign and He is perfect. Therefore His plan is perfect. It isn’t in HIS plan that we adopt this little girl that we love so much. We don’t understand why, but we trust that He does. Even though it is hard and it hurts so badly.
We are glad that when we heard our “no” a few weeks ago, someone else heard their “yes”. We are glad that our girl has been matched with another family so she isn’t going to be waiting long to be with the family God has chosen for her. That is good news. That is what we prayed for, if not us, someone else. So for that, we are grateful. Through our pain and hurt and tears, we can truly be happy that another family has opened their hearts to adoption and that our girl will soon have a family of her very own. This family doesn’t know it yet, but they will soon realize, that they have been matched with a super sweet, talented, smart, beautiful, and awesome young lady.
We do not know what the future holds. But we are so glad that God does. We are giving ourselves some time to grieve this loss. But eventually we will pull up our bootstraps and continue to follow what we believe God has called us to… adoption.
Please keep praying for “our girl” and for her new soon-to-be family. Adoption is beautiful, but it can also be hard. Especially for the older children with so much trauma. Keep praying for our family as we grieve this loss and heal. And as we look to God for direction on where to go from here. Thanks friends <3